Saint Mary of the Immaculate Conception Roman Catholic Church

Dear Good People of Saint Mary,

We were finishing up our sixth meeting of our local dialogue with Fredericksburg United Methodist Church—six members of our parish and six of theirs—on Monday morning and someone was talking about how, when we were children, we would get in the car and just go for a ride on Sunday afternoon. If you are old enough you can
remember; if you aren’t, then you wouldn’t believe it if I told you.

We would just get in the car and go for a ride. Nowhere. It was considered relaxing, interesting, to see what was new out there and spend time with family just driving around, instead of playing cards or sitting at the table after dinner on Sunday afternoons. I remember when they finally invented air conditioning in cars (yes, that is right) and it became so much more enjoyable in the summer. I guess gas was really cheap.

For a parish that dreads the many hours they are stuck in traffic every day, this is an odd sort of concept. For people who use their cars to race from one commitment to another, always watching the clock, this will sound like lunacy. We called it leisure.

Leisure is one of those things that a culture must have to advance. It is the downtime when we can think up new ideas. It is the space in which relations can grow with time. It is also the time in which we make spiritual discoveries about God with prayer, and reflection about ourselves. Leisure is the most important thing, and probably the least available thing to all of us.

Lent is here… it is time, it is opportunity to carve out a little leisure for your life. Don’t confuse leisure with doing nothing. There are no “days off” in the
spiritual life. But it is an active “making room” in life for the kind of reflection we must have in order to grow.

Giving is another spiritual discipline that we often overlook. We, generally speaking, do not give as easily as we receive. And yet, if we are not giving people, we won’t appreciate what we have. I’m not necessarily talking about the annual Bishop’s Lenten Appeal, or our several collections for local charities—these are good things and we should be generous, if we are authentic. But the integrity of a Christian includes a spirit of giving. Gifts we receive are intended for others, but we have to make the time and place available in order to be givers, or we won’t give. Once again, it’s about leisure.

Look at this amazing picture below. 300+ people made a commitment to providing the leisure necessary to attend our Called and Gifted Workshop. Response has been amazing—thanks to you all. Out of it will come what, I believe, might constitute a new spirit and a new life for Saint Mary, rooted in the gifts we have receive, and the gifts we can give.

God bless you.

Dear Good People of Saint Mary,

What an amazing parish you are! Looking back over January, thinking about all the activities we packed into the month, what with Family Week in Religious Education, Catholic Schools Week, all the preparation for two Called and Gifted Workshops and the great response you have had so far for the Lenten Friends small group Bible study program — well, it is amazing.

As I write this, the big Called and Gifted Workshop still hasn’t happened, but attendance looks like it will be well over 300 people. It will be one of the largest efforts in gifts discernment that any parish has ever attempted. Add to that about 180 parish leaders, faculty and staff from three other Workshops and you have quite a significant number who have begun the work of inviting the Holy Spirit into their lives of service in an intentional way.

Do you know what might be the result of all this? Already we are a parish that is far above the national (far, far above the international average) of Mass attendance, just under half, I figure. (Most places count a good attendance as 20-22%.) Based on the figure that we see about half, or 8,000 parishioners on a regular basis every Sunday, that means that one of every 16 active parishioners will have been blessed with the opportunity to stop for a day and consider a deeper calling from God, and more actively seek to understand the working of the Holy Spirit in their lives. That is a pretty high percentage. It will raise the sensitivity that we have of one another in seeking to help each other grow in ways that we are being called to live and serve, and our culture might slowly begin to change. If only we as a Church could do this on a massive scale! The Holy Spirit can only work among those who have an awareness of him, and a welcome.

Then, add to that so many who have signed up for the new Bible study small group program BETRANSFORMED this Lent. Already over 100 people have planned to participate — probably several times that by the time you are reading this article. Not only do we Catholics have a lot of work to do to get acquainted with texts of the Bible, but the principal value of this program is getting comfortable with sharing the faith that we have. We tend not to be “wired” for small groups, to speak freely about our feelings or about our faith. Catholics tend to be introverts in this area. But in the context of friends, we can practice that sharing skill and become more effective evangelizers, and therefore more likely to speak when needed in uncomfortable situations as well. In the process, our friendships grow, and we may even make new friends.

Last week I also had the opportunity to participate in Catholic Advocacy Day at the Virginia General Assembly. We gathered with Bishops Loverde and DiLorenzo in the morning and heard an overview of the Catholic viewpoint on major areas of legislation that are proposed for this session, then caucused according to districts to plan our conversations with our elected officials and practice what we planned to say when our appointments took place later in the morning.

Our group — Sister Susan Louise, Rick Caporali, Jim Carlson, Gregg Carneal, Tess Thome, Maureen Guilfoyle, and Dr. Trish Barber (principal of Saint Francis in Triangle) made our way to meetings with Senators Reeves and Stuart and Delegate Cole to speak on the topics of life protection and taxpayer subsidy, immigration, education, the death penalty, guns after hours in private schools, TANF reform and rapid rehousing initiatives for the homeless, among others. Our conversations were well-received, and we left with a sense that we had spent the day well.

I always wonder, afterward, how this day comes and goes with so little notice. If we truly have the opportunity to speak out and help shape the laws of our society according to our  beliefs, then it is a wonder to me that we all don’t take the day off and flood the capitol with information and voters. Over the past ten years, we have made a significant difference in the deliberations of our state legislature.

We especially thank Jeff Caruso, our parishioner and Executive Director of the Virginia Catholic Conference, for his constant attention to these matters, and to his staff who do such a nice job making all of us feel organized and valued in the work of advocacy.

Now Lent is less than two weeks away. Don’t forget to get in as much chocolate and TV as you can while there is still time. 🙂

God bless you.

Dear Good People of Saint Mary,

This week as I am writing this bulletin article I’m in the middle of signing 5,200 end-of-year statements to all you parishioners for your tax records for giving last year! I have completed 2,800 for those who have no record of giving, and am about to get started on the other 2,400. I was visiting with some friends from a large parish in northern Virginia over the weekend and they said that they had already received theirs last week!

We get mixed responses from people every year, and I wanted to offer some comments which might make the process less irritating. First, we don’t do it to make people feel bad about
how much they gave, or didn’t give. We are required to report back to you how much your charitable giving was last year to the parish for tax purposes, in case we got it wrong and so you have a document to file. There have been instances in the past where we have missed some gifts and people have corrected us—this is why we have to send zero-giving letters, too. Each year I believe we are better at our recordkeeping, but there is always the occasional error, and we have to hear from you.

As I write in the letter, a zero-giving letter doesn’t mean that you may not give cash, or are generous in many other ways. Again, there is no judgment on our part, we just have a report to make.

Some people say that they don’t want a report because their giving is something for which they don’t want a tax deduction. I think this is fine, too, but if you consider what some of our tax dollars are being spent on these days (some things which even violate our conscience rights as Catholics), maybe it would be good to keep as much as you can for things you would really like to support.

Some people say that they are offended that we would make their giving records public. This is also a misunderstanding. Only I and a select few of our staff even have access to the database where we are required to record all gifts, and these same people prepare the statements and mail them each year. There is no publication or opportunity for anyone to review these records. They are only between you and me and God. Even the diocese of Arlington, when they prepare lists of people we are to ask for special gifts (as in the recent Leadership Initiative Campaign), have only at their disposal records of previous diocesan capital campaigns, public records, Bishop’s Lenten Appeal history, or other gifts made directly to the diocese. They do not access our parish database for demographic or financial information.

Another interesting misconception has to do with so many who are coming into our country from other countries. National statistics show that giving is down simply because newcomers don’t realize that the Church in the United States depends entirely on private donations in the weekly offertory. In European or Latin American countries, Central and South America, government subsidies maintain the properties, set and pay for budgets and often even pay salaries for parish employees. Here that is not the case. Each expense of the parish—program, service or outreach—is only possible if you give to the parish. Most churches today do not see an offertory growth that equals the growth in the cost of living, and church utilities, expenses and payroll go up year just like those of everybody else.

As I said, I’m between the letters for those who have no record of giving and all those who do. This many families—2,800—might even give only $20 a year which would be like a second Easter collection. We would be on target for our annual budget. But God has always provided what we need, and he touches everyone at different times to support the parish in various ways.

New means of electronic giving through Faith Direct have made a regular gift to the Church more convenient and more regular for about 220 families, and that number is growing all the time. You might consider this as an option.

Please know how much your support of the parish is needed—and appreciated. We don’t have opportunity to thank you enough for what you
provide. We have so much going on here at Saint Mary and have made a difference in the lives of so many people… it is because you have provided the financial support to make it happen. It won’t—it can’t—happen without you.

Please accept my sincere gratitude as you receive your tax statements from Saint Mary this week, and don’t hesitate to let us know if there is something that needs correction. It is a privilege and a great happiness to serve as your pastor.

God bless you.

Dear Good People of Saint Mary,

I hope everyone has had a chance to sit quietly in church at some point this week, or maybe this coming week, to just sit, consider the power of the Presence of Jesus among us, surrounded by all the children and gifts that cover the walls. There is a holiness in this “community” that I have not experienced before. A holiness that is filled with love, and hope and expectation, and possibility.

Never say “the youth are the future of our Church.” It ignores the present moment in which we live together. The youth are as much a part of the present moment as anyone else. Why spend time thinking about what might be? When we can be enlivened and thankful and filled with hope for what is. The youth are the present of our Church.

We are confronted with the many faces and many gifts that are the people of God. I think it is probably a whole lot easier for a child to recognize his or her gifts and celebrate them. Adults become encrusted with all kinds of opinions and expectations they have for themselves, and others have of them, that have shaped us into a group of doubters. One year I filled in at St. Leo elementary school in Fairfax as the art teacher until we could hire a new one. My first day I asked, “How many of you are artists?” In kindergarten and first grade all the hands shot up. Second grade, doubt had begun to enter. By fourth grade maybe one-fourth of the students admitted their creative ability. By eighth grade maybe one uncomfortable student would look around to see if anyone was judging them and raise their hand halfway. I asked the rest why there were no artists in the room. Most answers were like this: “My friends / parents / teachers told me I’m not an artist.” “My friends / parents / teachers told me I can’t sing.” They must have been friends / parents / teachers who didn’t understand what it was to be a friend or parent or teacher!

Is it any wonder that Jesus says that unless we become like children we will not enter the kingdom of heaven? Not because children have it all figured out or have the secret of sanctity. They just love, and live in the possibility. When God says something that might seem unlikely to our adult ears, they can allow wonder and pay closer attention.

This week I have intentionally asked people what gifts they have that make them uniquely who they are. You know, the whole “no two snowflakes are exactly alike” thing, only applied to people. We are distinct and unique not because of our fingerprints, but because of the combination of gifts each of us has received. The call is the same. To holiness, to fulfillment, satisfaction and fullness of life, and joy. The way each of us responds by using the gifts we have received is what makes each of us different.

So I asked people the question about their gifts. And the number one answer was, “I don’t know.” Some said they doubted that there was anything that made them special at all. Most probably didn’t realize that a gift isn’t just something you like to do or are good at – but a tangible way that God has chosen for each of us to be instruments of his love, to help our world, our brothers and sisters, all those who seek what is good – to touch the Mystery of God. To be servants after the heart of Jesus.

We have lived our lives, and are teaching our youth to think the same way we have, as if what is real and God’s will is always something out of reach, something yet to be, some state of future perfection. The problem with this thinking is that it will never happen. We will always be dissatisfied, most will give up after a while, a long while or a short while.

But what if you really believed that God has already given you everything you need? He has. You are who you are, who you always will be. He has given us his divine life in baptism, a call as a member of the Body of Christ to share in his mission, the gifts of the Holy Spirit to accomplish a life’s work, free avenues of reconciliation and mercy, and perfect Communion with God. Is there more?

The way to start this awareness of the new life we have already received is to look into ourselves and see how God is calling, according to the gifts he gave us, which make us who we are. It isn’t mysterious, any more than we can say what color of eyes we have and what our favorite food is.

I imagine a Church where people live fully in their gifts for the glory of God, and nothing is a chore or burden. They say that there are no volunteers in the Kingdom of God, just people who are living out the call that they have received. Because it is who we are. May all of us begin to build this Kingdom on earth, living with youthful hope to look not at some undefined future moment, but to know the love of God now and live in it, and care.

God bless you.