Saint Mary of the Immaculate Conception Roman Catholic Church

Dear Good People of Saint Mary,

Do you remember what it felt like when we were kids and summer was ending? There was always a kind of sadness as the days got darker but also an abiding warmth about gathering closer to family and other people as the weather turned cooler and we left behind that summer independence as we returned to home and community, and school.

One of the things we looked forward to, as children, was the fall carnival. It is one of the strongest memories of community that I recall in my life. We would go out into the early evening and there would be lights strung across the parking lot at St. Francis Xavier Church in Kansas City, MO, twinkling welcome. There would be a lot of people who braved the first chill in the air of autumn, who came out for bingo under the tent, or to try out the various booths of games where you could win that prize that you never wanted so much as you did at that moment. Ice cream was always served.

And there was the cakewalk.

Someone (I always figured it was Monsignor, himself) had literally painted a numbered path on the parking lot and people lined up to take their chance on winning a cake.

You see, you follow this magical path and when the big band music stopped, if your
number was called, you won a cake. It was better than the lottery. You looked at the array of beautiful cakes and got to choose. This was, as far as I was concerned, the foretaste of heaven.

Of course, our family brought a cake too—everyone did—because that was the price of
admission. Mom’s cake was always one of the first to be picked, even though they just looked like the ones we often had at home. She made this kind of chocolatey-licious cake with sour milk that is still my favorite today.

As I think back on these memories I’m sure I’ve idealized the whole thing, as a child will do. But it is so great that regardless of what that church carnival actually was, the feeling of it has stayed with me to this day as one of my favorite memories. It is that feeling that you can’t replace when you begin to feel like you don’t belong, or are drifting a little. It is comfort to know that somewhere, the church lights are still on.

So now you know, if you were wondering, “Why a cakewalk?” I’m always amazed at how many people have never been to one.

Of course, the fact that cake goes so well with ice cream gives us another clue. The ice cream social finds its fulfilment in the cakewalk, and it leads us to share our prizes. It is funny how often people win their cake and run for the door, taking it home. (Here is a secret, maybe it will catch on this year: once a cake is won, it is meant to be something you can share with others.) Suddenly there is ice cream and cake for everybody, which help us to see how well we are suited for one another, too. You can use cake and ice cream as a model for how community can form and people can complement each other.

So don’t miss our parish cakewalk, and dance, and ice cream social next weekend. Come in your dancing shoes. There are a few events each year that can bring all of us together and this is a good one. Yes, it happens out at Holy Cross in the afternoon on Sunday (I guess people don’t like to go out in the evening anymore) and it is still late summer so the sun is still high and it is plenty hot. But all the ingredients for good memories are still present, and I hope it can serve as a moment when you realize that the community of the Church is still at the heart of who we are.

Now that I think about it, maybe we should add Bingo out on the soccer field. Maybe next year.

There is no charge, this is a present to all of you in our parish family. No charge, of course, unless you’d like to bake an amazing cake and bring it for some kid to win and, hopefully, share.

God bless you.

Dear Good People of Saint Mary,

The beginning of the Ministry Year at Saint Mary gives all of us a chance to draw near, roll up our sleeves and get to know our God who is immediate to us, and our neighbor whose needs are also immediate.

The word immediate could have two senses: right at this moment, as in immediately, or right in the same place. Most people live their lives with God at least at arms’ length (it is easier that way) but God isn’t limited by location. It is a human concept which we need to grasp being. To us, to be requires a place to be, but with God, he is always here, just as he is always now. For the person who is considering God, he is never “there.” He is always here.

The founding fathers of our republic were largely Deists. Some had become absolute advocates of the Enlightenment religion of nature and reason, a belief that there is some kind of God who made the machine and pushed the start button, then just sits back and watches it succeed or fail. Some were Christians, but most were a combination of the two, who believed in little or none of the miracles or supernaturalism found in the Judeo-Christian tradition, but retained Christian loyalties of faith. On the conservative side was Washington and Adams; the liberal, Franklin and Monroe.

This impersonality of God, however, has permeated our atmosphere of religious freedom
with a spirit of “freedom from religion,” even for believers. It would seem quite possible to believe and not live belief. So there is this lingering doubt in the mind of people since the Enlightenment, that perhaps all we really can know is empirical knowledge, that which is seen and heard, touched and tasted.

But is it possible to see and hear, touch and taste things that are beyond physical reality? Just because one person doubts the possibility or has never delved enough into the mysteries of God and has had no experience—well, that doesn’t mean these things don’t exist. Our tradition, on the contrary, is filled with accounts of saints and entire communities of people who have known the supernatural event of God in their lives in a quite tangible, documentable way. We do it, for example, every time we enter into God at Mass and result in Communion together. It isn’t a contest of wills or subjugation, it is a free and humble submission that God is greater and can move in our lives in ways that are immediate. Here and now.

Mass on TV can’t take the place of being in church on Sunday, any more than having feelings of compassion for the poor and homeless can substitute working together to provide solutions to end hunger and isolation. Or standing shoulder-to-shoulder with those who are considered the stranger by some, discovering common dreams and spiritual hopes. We have to be together for it to happen.

Friendship doesn’t happen between computer monitors. There is no substitute for face-to face. Lately there have been more and more people asking for counseling in the confessional… I try to explain that it is not possible to have a real first conversation about anything with a person who stays on the other side of a screen. What kind of arrogance would I have if I were to pretend that I had answers for someone whom I have never met? You might as well read a blog. We have to be real and immediate to one another, here and now.

By the way, so does God. It takes a Son to be a Father, a Father to have a Son, a relationship for there to be a love that lives and moves and brings others—all others—into its life of community. A we that invites a you to join, and become one in the image and likeness of God. We discover who we are when we are immediate and involved with God and with each other.

I do believe that there is a special charism of unity and I would like to call it forth from all those of you who have it, to help our parish come together to life this Ministry Year. These gifts—all our gifts—are given in love so that we might respond in love, and they will only be fulfilled in our action.

May God bless you,

Dear Good People of Saint Mary,

We’ve had a family (a man and two small children) visiting us at weekend Masses begging
outside the church for months, now. Over this time, I’ve been approached by many people, some who have said they shouldn’t be there, some who have told me they actually borrowed money from others to give to them because, even though they have a nice car and don’t look that desperate, the children shouldn’t be on the street. Of course, compassionate people feel bad for them. We have repeatedly told them that if they stay on the property that we will call the police. As soon as I am told they are outside they take off faster than I can get out there to run them off.

My alarm went off when two things happened: 1) they began to tell people that “Father said it was okay that we stand out here and beg,” and 2) “No cash? That’s okay, we take checks.” We have looked into these people – there are quite a number of them – and discovered that they have been going to churches all over the diocese for months. They are actually Romanian (real gypsies) who work for companies (the mob) in Romania who have now saturated Europe, and who have now bought them plane tickets to come to get money from parishes in the United States. One pastor in northern Virginia said that these companies in Eastern Europe actually look on line for the parishes in the US with the biggest collections, then send people here to take advantage of them. If you’ve ever been robbed by gypsies outside of churches in Europe (Rome, in particular),
you will know whom we’re talking about.

Please do not be taken advantage of, and do not let them take advantage of your charity that should be directed to legitimate need. Here is how “Father” would like you to respond. Just call the police. Don’t tell them you are going to call the police, because they will be gone before the police arrive, and then will be back next week. It is never a good idea to give anyone cash, anyway, but especially not a check to someone you don’t know. Their bosses will have your name, address, maybe phone number and bank account number.

This is probably a good time to talk about how we can best address the issue of begging and homelessness. And scams. Saint Mary is very deeply committed to supporting local agencies who address issues of hunger and homelessness. With community dinners, and the spectrum of Micah ministries, Saint Mary and area churches provide daily meals, shelter from the cold, visitors’ services in the form of food, clothing, facilities, a program for respite care following medical procedures, job assistance, rapid re-housing and career counseling. Anything people need is available through these agencies and all people need to do is ask. The homeless shelter is far less helpful due to strict eligibility requirements, but that is also a community resource. No one should need to beg, please, tell them of our parish commitment and invite them to look into what is offered. By providing these agencies with our resources, we know that our generosity is getting to the people for whom it is intended, where help is really needed.

We are happy to say that over the past decade Saint Mary has been a tithing parish, that is to say, that between 12 and 15% of the collections that pass through Saint Mary have gone to the poor and those in need. Your generosity to the parish automatically assures that 12 to 15% of your charitable donations provide for the poor and other legitimate charities and local agencies. We regularly support all of them.

The Micah Welcome Center is on Princess Anne Street next to the Baptist Church and
is there to provide care for people in difficult situations. The parish office can let you know where the daily breakfasts and dinners are prepared for anyone who doesn’t have a meal today. If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to ask our staff. Let people know where they can really find help, and stop those who would take advantage of your kindness.

May God bless you,