Saint Mary of the Immaculate Conception Roman Catholic Church

Dear Good People of Saint Mary,

We’ve had a family (a man and two small children) visiting us at weekend Masses begging
outside the church for months, now. Over this time, I’ve been approached by many people, some who have said they shouldn’t be there, some who have told me they actually borrowed money from others to give to them because, even though they have a nice car and don’t look that desperate, the children shouldn’t be on the street. Of course, compassionate people feel bad for them. We have repeatedly told them that if they stay on the property that we will call the police. As soon as I am told they are outside they take off faster than I can get out there to run them off.

My alarm went off when two things happened: 1) they began to tell people that “Father said it was okay that we stand out here and beg,” and 2) “No cash? That’s okay, we take checks.” We have looked into these people – there are quite a number of them – and discovered that they have been going to churches all over the diocese for months. They are actually Romanian (real gypsies) who work for companies (the mob) in Romania who have now saturated Europe, and who have now bought them plane tickets to come to get money from parishes in the United States. One pastor in northern Virginia said that these companies in Eastern Europe actually look on line for the parishes in the US with the biggest collections, then send people here to take advantage of them. If you’ve ever been robbed by gypsies outside of churches in Europe (Rome, in particular),
you will know whom we’re talking about.

Please do not be taken advantage of, and do not let them take advantage of your charity that should be directed to legitimate need. Here is how “Father” would like you to respond. Just call the police. Don’t tell them you are going to call the police, because they will be gone before the police arrive, and then will be back next week. It is never a good idea to give anyone cash, anyway, but especially not a check to someone you don’t know. Their bosses will have your name, address, maybe phone number and bank account number.

This is probably a good time to talk about how we can best address the issue of begging and homelessness. And scams. Saint Mary is very deeply committed to supporting local agencies who address issues of hunger and homelessness. With community dinners, and the spectrum of Micah ministries, Saint Mary and area churches provide daily meals, shelter from the cold, visitors’ services in the form of food, clothing, facilities, a program for respite care following medical procedures, job assistance, rapid re-housing and career counseling. Anything people need is available through these agencies and all people need to do is ask. The homeless shelter is far less helpful due to strict eligibility requirements, but that is also a community resource. No one should need to beg, please, tell them of our parish commitment and invite them to look into what is offered. By providing these agencies with our resources, we know that our generosity is getting to the people for whom it is intended, where help is really needed.

We are happy to say that over the past decade Saint Mary has been a tithing parish, that is to say, that between 12 and 15% of the collections that pass through Saint Mary have gone to the poor and those in need. Your generosity to the parish automatically assures that 12 to 15% of your charitable donations provide for the poor and other legitimate charities and local agencies. We regularly support all of them.

The Micah Welcome Center is on Princess Anne Street next to the Baptist Church and
is there to provide care for people in difficult situations. The parish office can let you know where the daily breakfasts and dinners are prepared for anyone who doesn’t have a meal today. If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to ask our staff. Let people know where they can really find help, and stop those who would take advantage of your kindness.

May God bless you,

Dear Good People of Saint Mary,

Please don’t forget to check out the list that follows for opportunities to volunteer. We often find ourselves in need of volunteers for one-time requests, and are building a database of people who would be willing to help us on occasion, if it is possible. Pam Biedenbender, Parish Council Operations Committee Chair, will coordinate needs with resources, and connect your generous hearts to those in need. Since last week, two responses. Thanks.

Also, please don’t give up hope on donuts and coffee after Masses on Sunday! We have lost our donut source—our thanks go to Paul and Sandra Glancy who provided us with donuts for so many years—and are working on alternatives for the weeks ahead. Of course, our parish nurses probably will insist on something healthy, but whatever we do it will be for the purpose of gathering people together, to visit, to catch up with each other and grow from the experience of fellowship after Masses on Sunday morning.

Our many parish groups who sponsor coffee and donuts don’t do it for the purpose of a
fundraiser, but donations given at the coffee shop do help promote their activities in charity and ministry. As we consider the possibility of actually purchasing food and refreshments, we will need to be careful not to spend more than we are able to receive, so we may need to ask for more direct support from all of you who visit our coffee shop after Masses on Sunday. Stay tuned.

It is the calm before the storm! Soon you will be receiving our 2014-2015 Parish Renewal Handbook with our catalog of ministries and our parish annual report. In these waning days of summer, please begin considering what activity/ministry you would most like to be involved in this year. What is the activity that will bring you most joy, and put to work particular gifts God has given you for the service of his Church and community?

May God Bless You,

Ideas for you on the Volunteer List:

* Do you have special office talents? stuffing envelopes, filing, typing, etc.
* Do you like to cook? Would you cook a mealfor someone? Can you give rides to people – to church, to the doctor, to the store?
* Are you good at entertaining? planning social events, coordinating food, hospitality?
* Do you like talking on the phone?
* Can you substitute for religious education?
* Do you have a green thumb?
* Would you like to be a small group leader?
* Do you find fulfilment in praying for others?
* How are you with physical labor? – setting up or taking down furniture for meetings, etc.
* Can you sew?
* Do you like to shop? help with food, flowers, items needed for special events
* Can you act as a translator, spoken or written word? What languages are you fluent in?
* Do you have talent as a tradesperson? building, plumbing, carpentry, electrical?
* Do you have a gift for design? decorating?
* Do you have IT talents? Website maintenance, calendar updates, electronics
* Do you like to visit people?
* Are you a good listener to someone who needs a friend?
* Would you be willing to be on call as needed for any type of general help? Anything else?

Send your name, best phone number, best email and list of talents to volunteer@stmaryfred.org.

Dear Good People of Saint Mary,

We are at the beginning of a very active year when all of you will be invited to participate in
many activities. Everybody knows, nobody is worse than priests about returning RSVPs in a timely manner. Well, that is what I’ve always heard until lately! We’ve had a number of classes and receptions in which we’ve asked for RSVPs and ended up with twice as many people as responses received. Please help us know how to plan by responding in a timely manner so that we can provide the most effective hospitality for you, and all we serve.

One of the great new ideas we are introducing this year at Saint Mary is a system of coordinating
volunteers. I would like you to check in with the parish via email if you are interested in being considered as a volunteer for a particular need throughout the year. For example, if you have a particular gift of sewing, or carpentry, or addressing envelopes, or baking croissants, or cleaning or hauling — whatever it might be, I ask you to send an email to: volunteer@stmaryfred.org and tell us 1) your name, 2) your best phone number, 3) your email (if different from the one from which you are sending) and 4) a list of your talents. See below for ideas.

Our office will compile a database of volunteers, and when a need arises we will send out a call in a timely manner to see who can respond and assist. Our Operations Committee, under the direction of Pam Biedenbender, will coordinate ministries and willing hearts to get jobs done. These jobs mostly will be one-time in nature, usually community-oriented and rewarding.They are not intended to replace commitments to particular ministries, which we will have the opportunity to sign up for in September.

The possibilities of this system are unlimited. Consider this system for community service
hours and youth participation in the parish, too. Thanks for all you do.

May God bless you,

Ideas for you on the Volunteer List:

* Do you have special office talents? stuffing envelopes, filing, typing, etc.
* Do you like to cook? Would you cook a mealfor someone? Can you give rides to people – to church, to the doctor, to the store?
* Are you good at entertaining? planning social events, coordinating food, hospitality?
* Do you like talking on the phone?
* Can you substitute for religious education?
* Do you have a green thumb?
* Would you like to be a small group leader?
* Do you find fulfilment in praying for others?
* How are you with physical labor? – setting up or taking down furniture for meetings, etc.
* Can you sew?
* Do you like to shop? help with food, flowers, items needed for special events
* Can you act as a translator, spoken or written word? What languages are you fluent in?
* Do you have talent as a tradesperson? building, plumbing, carpentry, electrical?
* Do you have a gift for design? decorating?
* Do you have IT talents? Website maintenance, calendar updates, electronics
* Do you like to visit people?
* Are you a good listener to someone who needs a friend?
* Would you be willing to be on call as needed for any type of general help? Anything else?

Send your name, best phone number, best email and list of talents to volunteer@stmaryfred.org.

Dear Good People of St. Mary,

I was on the phone the other day with a dear friend of mine who is an evangelical minister in the Chicago area, we were trying to put together details for some upcoming meetings. It was a Saturday afternoon and I told him I would email him the information shortly, as soon as I could get to it after confessions were over. He said, “That’s fine. But just know that I won’t respond to you until Monday morning. I shut my phone off for the Sabbath.” My reaction was, “You’re kidding, right?” I mean, I didn’t say it out loud to him, but I was thinking it.

As accustomed as we have tried to become to constant emailing and texting, I wonder the damage caused by the sheer volume of communication as a constant activity. But if we don’t check in very regularly, the emails and messages pile up so quickly that we don’t have time to catch up.
My friend isn’t actively serving a congregation as a pastor at the present time, he attends a church, so he doesn’t have the weekend demand. But still — I don’t think I could go off the grid for the Lord’s Day. I think of myself as one who has tried to keep limits on these things, to manage several hundred communications a day. I tried Facebook for about three months, only to learn that it filled my inbox with information that either wasn’t necessary or simply not any of my business.

I learned things about people and how they dealt with each other that I realized I’d just rather not know. As for all the “friends” and “friending” that was taking place, I found it a very cheap substitute for real relationship and, if we were honest, was more of an addiction for information, scanning, searching, consuming knowledge about other people and what is going on. It is a modern-day, infinite version of the one-column by five-inch article in the newspaper (old school) that we used to call the weekly “gossip column.” Back to my friend. The more I thought about it, I realized that we have allowed these hundreds-a-day invasions of time. We all know people who do little else all day long. One young adult I know counts among his very best friends those with whom he chats on line, people that he actually has never met in person. “Doesn’t that trouble you?” I asked him. “Not at all,” he replied. “Should it?” Have you found yourself resenting the many demands which too easily can be made by anyone who types a sentence and hits “send”? Your response is expected. This “remote control” allows us to hold expectations for others with very little personal accountability for ourselves. It also allows us to act inhumanly, even cruelly, without any responsibility, patricularly when we communicate anonymously. We learned a long time ago to never look at a public blog, some seem basically a license for hatred.

One social media site popular with teens advertises itself as the place where you can “be anyone you want to be.” It makes you wonder if the person on the other end of the ether is who they say they are, at all. Some people have begun to refuse to use email or social media at all. “If you want to speak to me, or ask me something, you just need to call.” There is a growing awareness that community cannot be established and nurtured through an unnatural, impersonal message (which is so often misunderstood, anyway). Since community is built on relationships, these relationships need to be real, face-to-face, and multi-leveled. Our community is based on the quality of its communication. How are we doing? Are we losing the ability to communicate we once had? Will a new generation develop with a completely different, detached understanding of relationship? There will never be a substitute for real-time encounter and sharing. Give somebody a call.

May God bless you,